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Joke of the Day

"Octopus How does an octopus make you laugh? With ten-tickles"

"My PhD candidate brother told me he is getting hooded in a few weeks. What a dumb ass- you can't undo a circumcision . . . . Woke up with this joke inside my head- original?"

"I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy ...and my face smashes right into the mirror."

"2 moderators walk into a bar and see this pedo [removed]"

"It'd be nice if the pre-requisite to being a politician in the United States of America didn't involve being a lying sack of shit."

"Light a man a fire... Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Light a man afire and he'll be warm the rest of his life. (I know it's a repost, but I've never seen the play on words, shame)"

"I figured out why new mothers are so tired. Having kids really takes a lot out of you."

"What's six inches long, has two nuts, and gives women big bellies? Almond Joy."

"If short people smoke weed... If short people smoke weed, do they get high or medium."

"If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen"