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Joke of the Day

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... Ba-da-cha!"

"A brown bear and a polar bear fall into the water. Which one dissolves? The polar bear, because he's polar!"

"Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. #badpickupline"

"Fuck! I forgot to bring my reusable bag to Whole Foods. People are throwing rocks. I'm bleeding. Send help."

"Forgot we bought a Christmas tree. Woke up at 2 a.m., went to pee, thought it was a guy and almost called the cops on it."

"Answer to the seagulls riddle. To beat the Portuguese (it's a New Bedord/Falmouth/Vineyard joke)."

"What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot? One says ""hey, you, get off of my cloud"", and the other says ""hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe""."

"What do you call tree sap that won't stop running? Forest gunk."

"I have a lot of wisdom in regards to oral hygiene. I'd consider myself a flosserpher."

"Did you hear about the woman who ordered a double entendre at the bar? The bartender reached under the bar whipped it out and gave it to her"