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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the woman who ordered a double entendre at the bar? The bartender reached under the bar whipped it out and gave it to her"

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"ME: my ideal first date? well to me it dosent matter wat we do as long as we share a conection JOB INTERVIEWER: i meant how soon can u start"
"Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks."
"Every time ""Cops"" comes on I'm like ""PLEASE don't show my episode."""
"Yesterday, I got so depressed.. ..I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records. . . Or that's what I thought until I realised my cat had fallen in to the dryer."
"Dear Girl Scouts, Your Mints did not make me Thin. ps. Please send more."
"Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Because 7 has friends in the politburo"
"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elifino!"
"Wife: He keeps his friend close so he doesn't lose him Therapist: Not a bad thing Me [yawns and a bee flies from my mouth]: Come back Alan"
"The World's Shortest Joke Two women were sitting quietly."