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Joke of the Day

"If I could pick any super power it would be... echo sound location so I could see with my eye's closed."

"My grandma started running 5K / day at age 60 She's 93 now, we have no idea where she is"

"The thing I like best about smartphones is how they're a prison you keep in your pocket"

"I wish my ears would visibly lay back like a cats when I'm pissed off so people would know when to leave me the hell alone."

"Turns out Olympian Bruce Jenner Was just running from his penis."

"Star Wars newest Droid..... How does the newest round Star Wars droid relieve his sexual tension? He master-BB8's"

"Why does beyonce sing about the ""box to the left"" Because women have no rights"

"Hey baby, you got an inhaler? Because you got dat Ass-ma."

"What causes dimples? Its how many times your dad poked you in the face when he was fucking your mom when she was pregnant with you"

"""I'd kill you if I thought I could get away with it"".......things that were said to me during my divorce. Hey guy's, she's available!"