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Joke of the Day

"My grandma started running 5K / day at age 60 She's 93 now, we have no idea where she is"

"If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it."

"I met a girl named ""JKMNO"" today when I mispronounced her name. I asked her proper pronunciation... Her name was ""No L"""

"How can you tell a mechanic got laid? He has one clean finger"

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me five times, good job, you're the guy who makes the trailers for the Paranormal Activity movies."

"What is the difference between period blood and sand? You can't gargle sand!"

"The ocean isn't shark-infested. It's the ocean. That's where sharks live. We aren't supposed to be there. Humans infest the ocean."

"Body: All done? Brain: All done. Body: goodnight Brain: goodnight Body: Brain: Brain: Flintstone tiptoed a lot for a big dude"

"Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said ''So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses!"

"Justin Bieber was caught smoking weed. Right now weed is denying it to its cool friends."