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Joke of the Day

"Why do Dale Earnhardt Sr fans hate Trump? Because Trump wants to build a wall... and a wall killed Dale Earnhardt."

"Why are jack-o-lanterns inbred? because they pump-kin"

"If someone knocks on your door, knock back from the other side. That someone will go away. It works. Trust me, I just tried it this morning."

"I went out for a pelican curry last night.... It was really nice, but the bill was enormous!"

"Cold turkey tastes so good. Why would anyone want to quit it?"

"My dog just ate a butterfly and probably saved Tokyo from a tidal wave. I don't understand science."

"Food wedding anniversaries: Year 1: champagne 2: strawberries 3: chocolate 4: donuts 5: protein shakes 6: microwave meal 7: Rat poison"

"What do you call a Jew with the pH level of 1? Hacidic!"

"My cat should run for President. When she gets excited she flip-flops all over the place."

"Why didn't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken 'came' in another box!"