33875

Joke of the Day

"I am the big shot at my new job. I am the human cannonball at the circus."

"I think my coffee pot is an alcoholic It gets drunk at least once a day even when no one else is around"

"An eskimo pulls up to an intersection... with a flat tire. A Welsh guy pulls up next to him and says: ""Hey, I think you've blown a seal!"" To which the eskimo replies: ""So what? You shag sheep."""

"My brother told me I have the body of a god. Buddha!"

"I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who took time out of her or his busy schedule to tell me, ""omg you look like hell."""

"I'm too tired to slap you. Bash your face up against my palm."

"Coming out with a hair product line.... For philosophers, religious and introspective types... it's called ""The Human Conditioner""."

"The lobotomist ran off with my wife... And I think he took off with my better half."

"I went to an HIV counseling meeting... ... They are a very positive group."

"Simba - ""welcome to... The bone zone"" Nala - ""the what?"" Simba - ""elephant graveyard. I said elephant graveyard"""