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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to propose a toast... To burning bread. Will you marry me?"

"A doctor gave a man six months to live ... ... The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months."

"I recently came into a lot of money. The bank teller wasn't happy about having to use gloves."

"What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire"

"What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam!"

"Good dancer Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."

"You know why someone who's good at something is ""The Shit""? Because those who can't teach and those who do do."

"Son: ""Dad! My lsd is missing!"" Dad: ""We have bigger problems son, there's a dragon in the kitchen."""

"Why haven't I ever met a full blooded jew? All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ish"

"Guys, I'm eating for two! I'm not pregnant, I just have a problem with portion control."