33822

Joke of the Day

"The Only Thing Better Then a Yom Kippur Breakfast is a Yom Kippur Lunch."

"If someone ever challenges you to a fight, pull your pants off and chase them crotch first. I'm currently undefeated with this method."

"An annoying part of life in the 80s was when you're already late and, once again, you gotta shoo away some sexy lady lying all over your car"

"Why do Angelina Jolie's shirts have such big pockets? For her lipstick :D (modified joke originally from Sickipedia)"

"I was going to make a documentary about my sex life but somebody else snatched up the rights to the title. TROLLHUNTER"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a bass player? The pizza can feed a family of four."

"Yay summer! *gets drunk outside* Yay winter! *gets drunk inside*"

"I was with my mom today when some guy backed into our car. I joked with my mom ""That guy's pull out game is weak."" My mom replied ""Not as weak as your dad's."""

"Wanna freak people out? Lick your fingertips when you finish pumping gas."

"People are like onions... I always cry when I cut them up."