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Joke of the Day

"What is the definition of torque? When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet."

"You cannot run through a campground You can only ran, because it is past tents"

"I can't wait till next years veterans day: for the ones that didn't get captured...."

"If you had to describe your sex life with a famous historical quote Mine would be 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman' - Bill Clinton"

"Why do most men not like aspirin? Because it's a cox blocker"

"CAPS LOCK. BECAUSE IT'S TIME TO UNLEASH THE FURY!"

"Alzheimer A guy stands in front of a urinal with his hand in head hairs. ""I, definitely, remember it's somewhere in hairs"""

"Parenthood is where you spend 18 years saying no all because of that one critical time you said yes."

"My teacher told me my drawing was pretty good, I told her I know. My mom always told me I was borderline artistic."

"When I see someone laughing to themselves in public, I love to imagine what they're thinking about, even though deep down I know: it's memes"