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Joke of the Day

"the liberal media won't report that I can easily do 100 push-ups because they are frightened"

"The official carriers of India and Pakistan. because of the risk factors: Pakistan International Airlines or PIA is expanded to Please Inform Allah. Air India or AI is expanded to Already Informed."

"What does Metallica's St. Anger and Star Wars VIII have in common? No solo."

"Some people's decisions are based in fear, others are based in beer."

"""Super Mario, come quick! Bowser kidnapped the princess!"" -That fucking coward! I'll kill him! Which way did he go? -He went to the left. -**Goddammit!!!**"

"Walked out the pub the other night and seen a bloke at the end of the road with a broken down car. I said ""what's the matter mate?"" he said ""piston broke"" I said ""so am I!"" and stumbled home."

"Lesbian dinasour What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotapuss"

"Crueless joke Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"Just signed up for free HBO, but the terms and conditions were so steep I think I also agreed to carry Steve Buscemi's baby."

"Have you ever been so high you had to pull over and ask someone for directions, and when you do it's your fridge and you're not driving?"