33702

Joke of the Day

"the liberal media won't report that I can easily do 100 push-ups because they are frightened"

"What do gay men and ambulances have in common Both get loaded from the rear and go woop-woop!"

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke would get for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"In art class I was told black was a shade not a color. That must mean black people aren't colored: they're shady."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any Pixar movie in his collection... But he's never gonna give you Up."

"It's alright if we're doing it all wrong. After all, we are the first generation to deal with midlife crisis by staring at our phones."

"Thought for today: Each day is a gift from God ... but not Monday, it was regifted by Satan."

"What do you call a Nazi cetacean? Adolfin."

"I am a joke. I am not a joke. What is laughter? DEATH! I died of laughter tomorrow!"

"Please take selfies. There are enough pictures of sunsets and airplane wings. Your face is more interesting."