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Joke of the Day

"A girl melon... ...is in love with a boy melon. When her father finds out they want to get married he tells her ""I'm sorry honey, but you cantaloupe"""

"Used to hate red lights before text messaging was invented."

"What kind of phone does a molester have? the iTouch. ( lame but I made it up in class when I was like 15 lmfao)"

"Divorce.... Is the fucking you get for the fucking you got!"

"[During Sex] ""Hurry up, this isn't really my house."""

"[aquaman origin story] *falls out of boat* help! im drowni- oh... no, im good, actually"

"What does Snoop Dogg say to his baby? Kushie kushie koo"

"There is no ""we"" in chocolate."

"Jerry (Man pukes in plastic bag) Man:I made breakfast, let's put it in the fridge (Puts it in toilet tank) Man:Time for bed (Crawls in to tub)"

"Why was Hitler better than Jesus (offensive)? Belated Hitler birthday joke! Jesus may have fed 5,000 people with a few loaves of bread and fish, but Hitler made 6 million Jews toast."