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Joke of the Day

"can't believe Jesus was born on Christmas and died on Easter, what are the odds? still, he accomplished a lot for a four month year old."

"[walking down street with date after dinner] him: i had a great time me: yep... [gestures towards garbage truck] welp, this is me [jumps in]"

"You can say what you like about pedophiles at least they drive slowly past schools and playgrounds"

"feedback 4 people revving motorbikes loud in residential areas: there is absolutely 0% chance that u r impressing literally a single person"

"how did hitler tie his shoesies? with little nazis"

"If I was Penguin's attorney I'd request bail by saying ""He's no flight risk!"" Then Hi-5 the whole courtroom but Batman. I'd leave him hangin"

"Wanna hear a joke about potassium? K"

"make love, not war 1) In the 60s, they made love, not war. I'm married. I make both."

"Happy Fathers Day to all you mother fuckers!"

"The Energizer Bunny was arrested. He was charged with battery."