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Joke of the Day

"I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, and I thought to myself. ""Well this changes everything"""

"There's no such thing as premature ejaculation, the truth is that women arrive late everywhere!"

"What do Mountain folk do on Halloween? Pumpkin."

"My family used to be in the steal and iron business My dad would steal and my mom would iron."

"Can I still watch 300 if I haven't seen the first 299"

"I like my women like I like my third games in a series by Valve... I think they're gonna be great, but they never seem to come."

"Hey lady, did you know I'm a Pokemon? Because I Pikachu while you sleep."

"Twitter is an amazing source of useful information, the way a haystack is an amazing source of needles."

"I was texting my friend about why how I loved eating my family and pets. It was then that I learned of the importance of commas."

"whats the difference between my driveway and 14 year old daughter? ... I pull out of my driveway"