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Joke of the Day

"My wife asked me ""will you marry someone else if I die?"". "" Of course not "", I said. ""I'm not doing the same mistake twice"""

"What kind of wig can hear ? An earwig !"

"What does anal sex and broccoli have in common? If you're forced to try it as a kid.. you probably wont like it as an adult."

"What's the difference between Jeb Bush and my toilet? My toilet is still running."

"Sometimes I bring maracas to a meeting just to shake things up."

"Now that we're moving in together I feel it's time to fill him in on the secret I've protected him from for 5 years: Girls poop too."

"Why does the lead singer of Sublime hate tennis? Cause love is what I got"

"How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist? A sumo wrestler shaves his legs."

"My grandpa said that my generation relies too much on technology So I said ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" And I unplugged his life support."

"Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets ? To run his hands through his hair."