42020

Joke of the Day

"Rent boat. Go out to sea. Find sperm whale. Tell him he's called sperm whale. Console sperm whale. Have fun with new whale best friend."

"Was at a party the other day, there was a guitar there. I picked it up and someone asked if I could play wonderwall I said maybe"

"Business plan: 1) Spend 20 years mastering karate 2) Teach karate class, so you meet people who don't know karate 3) Rob them"

"Beware of alphabet grenades... Beware of alphabet grenades, if you throw them it could spell disaster..."

"Why does the KKK like christmas? Because it's the one day that they have an excuse to hang coloured balls from trees."

"Have you heard of the man from DeMizes? His balls were of two different sizes. One ball was so small, there was no ball at all. The other so large it won prizes."

"What do you call a homeless man who trashes food you give him then says he only accepts cash? A rootabaga."

"What do miss Frizzle and the catholic church have in common? They've both been in little boys."

"I always carry a small bottle of Tabasco when I fly. You never know when you're going to crash in the Alps & have to live by eating people."

"I was watching a TV program on various Religious orders and how the use stringed instruments. I was appalled by the amount of sects and violins!"