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Joke of the Day

"me: excuse me but is the pilot vaping? flight attendant: no there's a fire in the cockpit me: oh thank god"

"My Thai wife has got a penis the size of a tubular bell... I love her long chime."

"(OC) Where did the frog say his family came from? ""They are German and a tad-Polish"""

"What's the difference between an apple and a baby? People didn't freak out for no reason when I started eating an apple in public."

"What did the cow say under its breath? Utter."

"How do you know you've been burgled by asians? You come home to find your math homework was done, your computer was upgraded, and they're still trying to back down the driveway."

"Help! I'm a fat man trapped in a skinny body!"

"How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back! And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first"

"A wise meteorologist once told me... Dress for the weather you want, not the weather you have."

"Have you heard about that new movie with the poop? Constipated? Naw, that's never gonna come out."