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Joke of the Day
"People who like being photographed in natural light.. ..should be taken outside and shot."
Next Joke
"It's like my racist grandpa used to say: ""Good morning."" That unrepentant bigot had many flaws, but cordial salutations wasn't one of them."
"Happy Easter And to the Jews, better luck next time"
"The inventor of Chapstick died today. Unfortunately his body was lost while being transferred to the morgue."
"They say firemen are courageous because they run into burning buildings to get things out. So do black dudes during a riot."
"4 yo: Mommy, it feels so good. Me: What does? 4 yo: To be a gangster. Me: ... Go tell your father I said to come here."
"Today I'm 45. But with the wind chill I feel like 32."
"How many Trump supporters does t take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just make the Mexicans do it."
"[i fall down the stairs & break my back] Me: Siri, call me 911 Siri: okay.. I will call you 911 from now on Me: haha nice Siri: thanks 911"
"WAITER: the duck is organic & cruelty-free ME: can i order a duck who endured lots of cruelty WAITER: what why ME: a duck killed my father"