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Joke of the Day

"I saw a sign that said ""Watch for children"" I thought to myself ""That sounds like a fair trade"""

"In baseball, why does it take longer to get from second to third than any other bases? Because there's a short stop in between."

"Pizza Hut is very consistent... The pizza tastes exactly like the box it comes in."

"What do you call hiring German engineers to work on your overseas project? Krautsourcing"

"What's E.T. short for? Because he's got little legs."

"What I Say To 7: ""This is just between us"" What 7 Hears: ""Tell Mom everything and please embellish it to make it sound 100 times worse"""

"My mother arrives on Friday, so I have to do three months worth of cleaning in 48 hours. Also, lose 30 pounds and live up to my potential."

"7 for a Taken 3 ticket, 3 for a drink, 5 for doritos... ...The only thing they've taken is the piss."

"The Mancave is where I change into my Manman costume."

"I Wish I was a Wal Mart Truck Driver... Because I missed Tracy Morgan on Saturday."