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Joke of the Day
"""You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."" - Wayne Gretzky - Melania Trump"
Next Joke
"Father, pardon, excuse, exonerate, absolve, acquit, forgive me, for I have synonymed."
"Goodbye, Class! Hello, Trump."
"Drug commercial just listed ""death"" as a possible side affect. Seems totally legit. Ask your doctor if possible death is right for you.."
"Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks."
"Why did the cellphone go to court? Because it was charged with battery. Thank you, I'll be here all night... Finals week needs to end."
"take me down to the paraphrase city where it's nice"
"She asked if I wanted to eat ass... I said no because it'll taste like shit"
"How do you explain this gap in your resume? ""I was in jail."" Okay. Sure you weren't working for Trump's campaign? ""Swear to God. Jail."""
"Never trust a woman who takes pictures from the neck up."