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Joke of the Day

"Goodbye, Class! Hello, Trump."

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"How are 4chan and Tumblr alike? They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting"
"Did you hear about Helen Keller's dating life? because I heard she wasn't seeing anyone"
"What do you call a gangster with no limbs? A crip"
"TIFU by telling a terrorist joke to my Muslim girlfriend. She blew up in my face."
"my daughter has been thrusting her stuffed animals in my face for me to kiss, but I'm being very selective so she learns to have standards"
"saying monkeys r ur favorite animal is basically saying u like a shorter, hairier version of urself who can only communicate by screaming"
"A server asked Rene Descartes if he would like another cup of coffee... He replied, ""I think not!"" And disappeared."
"I put one slice of toast in my toaster and got two out... Must have been mitoastis"
"What type of plant can you use to make phone calls? A telefern"