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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pirate and a necrophiliac? I'm not sure, but they both go out with shovels to find the booty."

Next Joke
 
"Right? That noise. ~Me pretending that I know what I'm talking about when I get my car serviced"
"Why do cows have hoofs? Because they lack toes"
"Why don't German pessimists eat pork.... They always fear the wurst."
"I had a friend who used to draw on her eyebrows. One day, she accidentally drew them to high. When I told her, she looked surprised."
"911: what's your emergency? me: I taught my Dad how to text 911: the problem ma'am? me: he CALLS to say ""yeah, got ur text"""
"Polls show some interesting things Statistics show that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape"
"Why is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7s? He puts down the three and carries the one."
"A woman says to her husband... A woman says to her husband, ""I'm sick and tired of you pushing me around, and talking behind my back."" The husband says, ""but honey you're in a wheelchair."""
"""Here, let me fuck it up for you."" - Every kid ever"