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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between rearranging your schedule and getting to second base with an ex-girlfriend? One is playing with your priorities, the other is playing with prior titties!"

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"Studies have shown that smokers are 97% more likely than non-smokers... to walk out on their families."
"What did the little cloud say about the big cloud? I think you're condensating for something."
"What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast."
"What has 400 legs and 23 teeth? The front row of a Trump rally"
"Where can you go on Reddit to ask questions? Not /r/movies."
"Why did the ebo(l)la patient yell? Someone spilled wine (bolla) on his ELECTRONIC. (E)phones."
"My friend asked me if her breath smelled like tacos. I said, ""I don't know, do you put shit in your tacos?"""
"What are 3 words that men hate during sex? *""Honey*, I'm home!"""
"Why do chicken coups have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan."