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Joke of the Day

"A south-African and a north-African has a bet about who can hit the ground first from a skyscraper. Who wins? Society."

"Why does the mushroom get invited to all the parties? Because he's a fungi."

"What do you call a snake with a degree in engineering? A Boa Constructor"

"What did Hitler say when 7 ate 9? NEINNN!!"

"Where's the ""It's Complicated"" box to check off on this tax form?"

"Who is Bob Dylan's favourite soccer player? Harry Kane."

"Don't make a mountain out of a molehill Do it with mashed potatoes, then play keyboard for the aliens ... I think my cough medicine expired"

"Do you know the Pistorious drinking game? Every time your girlfriend comes into the room you take four shots."

"""What are you typing? Let me guess. Oh wait, stop right there, I know what it is. It's not that? Okay wait.. I know it, I know it!"" -Google."

"How do generals show their gratitude to their troops? They give tanks."