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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a snake with a degree in engineering? A Boa Constructor"
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"The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere."
"People keep telling me to start thinking for myself... I'm not sure what they want me to think about."
"Paula Deen reportably has type 2 diabeties. Any word on she's serving it with butter?"
"After significant research, I can confirm that toddlers will not go away if you ignore them."
"Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash. Mind if we shared a cab home?"
"What's the difference between Paul Walker and My Computer? I actually care when my computer crashes"
"I don't really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids' history textbooks."
"Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone."
"I was addicted to hokey pokey. But I turned myself around."