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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a snake with a degree in engineering? A Boa Constructor"
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"If you were locked in a room with Trump and Clinton And it was just you, them, and a pistol with one bullet... Which one would you shoot and which would you bludgeon to death with the pistol?"
"Why is Hellen Keller bad at driving? Because she's dead."
"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts."
"I like my coffee like I like my women..... ....ground up and in the freezer."
"""Brian did you remove some of the thread from your shirt logo?"" Me: [clearly enjoying people calling me the Hug Boss] what? No probably not"
"What do you call a persnickety con artist walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."
"What's in cider? I'm in cider!"
"""DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE GYM, BABY! AGES THREE TO NIIIIINNNNE!"" - Axl Rose, playground monitor."
"What's the diffrence between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath? The girl in a church has a soul full of hope and the girl in a bath has, well... EDIT: better structure."