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Joke of the Day

"Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because when he asked the chicken ""Who's the best composer"" the chicken said ""Bach, Bach, Bach"""

"A man is at the gates of hell. Satan: Your card please, so you may enter. Man: *swipes card* Satan: It's a chip."

"What does Harry Potter do when he gets Ginny Pregnant? Cast Fetus Deletus."

"Hey, the army. Camouflage your helicopters blue, not green. You're fucking welcome."

"Can we please stop with the holocaust jokes? My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off the guard tower."

"A Jew found some money He counted it and some was missing"

"Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ? A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too."

"My wife...she says I can be a jerk some times I think it's nice of her to give me permission like that."

"I got a job digging graves, I don't know how, I just fell into it."

"That Schrodinger guy used to throw some great parties... ... about half the time."