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Joke of the Day

"Policeman: I've had my eye on you for some time now. Young Lady: That's funny. I thought you were arresting me for speeding."

"A man calls his boss to call in sick... The boss asks him, ""How sick are you anyway?"" ""I fucked my sister! Is that sick enough for you?"""

"Why is Jabba so fat? Because he goes to Pizza Hutt a lot. Edit: Best flair 2016"

"What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine."

"How dare you accept my apology, I wasn't really apologizing, that was a trick to get you to say that nothing was my fault"

"Why did the guitarist go to prison? Because he fingered A Minor."

"I couldn't sleep because my fan was making loud noises. Yeah,it's a huge metal fan !"

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter escaped the chambers."

"I just robbed everyone at a Whole Foods Market, armed with nothing but a bag of gluten."

"Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it's your neighbor's window and they're calling the cops?"