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Joke of the Day

"*Filling out application* Sex: ""no thanks"" Well maybe I should write yes... I really need this job. You know what? Yeah sure I'll take sex."

"So a farmer goes to the doctor... And the doctor says, ""I need to talk to you about your overall health."" and the farmer says, ""Well my overalls are just fine thanks you!""."

"The week has seven days: Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Friday, Saturday and preMonday."

"why are clothes so expensive???? i should not have to pay this much to not be naked. people should pay ME to not be naked"

"What do you call bacteria that can swim fast? Micro Phelps."

"Since Fall Out Boy broke up I want to start a female group called Fall Down Girl. There's no singing, we just get wasted and fall down a lot"

"Single airline stewardesses are very lucky... for their convenience all men are already sorted into different classes."

"Quit smoking is so easy I quit at least a thousand times already Edited :D"

"4 out of 5 dentists agree my cousin Sheila is remarkably ugly."

"I want a woman who can cook, clean, do the laundry, pay the bills & still set aside the time to have sex with me while her husbands at work"