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Joke of the Day
"Why do differentiating mathematicians prefer Manhattans to Mojitos? Ryes over rum."
Next Joke
"My friend said he'll shave his hair for the first time in forever... I told him it was a....*bold* move."
"Measure twice, cut five times, curse profusely, punch a wall, give up, call a professional."
"Why is Santa's sack so large? Because he only comes once a year."
"TIFU by complimenting a co-worker's womanly hips. Get over it, Steve."
"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" The horse responds, ""Because my daughter just died of leukemia."""
"I want to have sex with McKayla Maroney... But I think she would be unimpressed."
"So true... Q: Why do women have boobs? A: So you have something to look at while you're talking to them!"
"I've lost most of my hearing, but it's okay because it turns out the only thing people say to me is ""nothing, nevermind."""
"My therapist thinks meeting women on twitter for sex is a bad idea. His wife disagrees."