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Joke of the Day

"*runs into restaurant* IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR? ""I'm a doctor"" Nice. Nice. Can you buy me dinner I'm very poor"

"Mind over matter they told me... Thanks for the gold stranger! *edit* Front page! Much wow!"

"If you're wondering what all these scratches on my chest are from, it's because my cat hates to get in the hot tub with me."

"Why does the North Korean military always lose their battles? [xpost /r/meanjokes] Every single shot at them is at a chink in their armor."

"What do you call a hot indian girl? Bomb bae"

"What happened when to the psychoanalyst when he went ice skating for the first time? A Freudian Slip"

"What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand."

"Anyone exciting about the iPhone 7? I do Because it will bring down the price of iPhone 6, which lead to iPhone 5's price to drop too. Finally, i'll have enough money to buy an iPhone 4"

"A man has been found guilty of overusing commas, the judge warned him to expect a very long sentence"

"The Jonestown cult survivor was never any good at jokes. He always missed the punchline."