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Joke of the Day

"Ever had that feeling where you just want to jump right out of bed? Me neither."

"As a kid, I didn't want to get caught misbehaving by my parents. Now I'm a parent. And I don`t want to get caught by my kids."

"Anybody taking bath in Milk.. ""Why do you take baths in milk?"" ""I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."""

"Today I found out what it was like to play a FPS First person shoveler. gg blizzard."

"She said she hates my analogies and wishes I would communicate like a normal person, but that's like telling a samurai not to use his sword"

"Welcome to ghosts anonymous. Nice to see such a spirited turnout. *all of the ghosts boo in unison*"

"Why was the iPhone 7 so embarrassed? He was caught jacking off."

"I wish I hadn't spoken French to my cat. Now he thinks he's the king of Iran."

"What did the bobby (English policeman) say to the hitchhiker with three heads, no arms and one leg? ""'Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in."""

"My buddy was dating twins... I asked him how he could tell them apart, and he replied, ""That's easy. Barbara has really big tits and Bob has a mustache."""