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Joke of the Day

"A small boy swallowed some coins... A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his mother asked how he was doing, the doctor said, ""No change yet."""

"What do you call a chicken takeover of the government? A coop."

"How does a chef ask to leave the dinner table? He says, ""Gourmet I be excused?"""

"do you know? Did you know It takes the average American male approximately 4 minutes to have an orgasm. Do you know how long it takes the average woman? Who fucking cares."

"My pessimism has never failed me, but I'm sure someday it will."

"Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don't do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!"

"A Scotsman walks into a bar.... There is usually an Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman, but they're all still in France :("

"I'm going to open a store called Chasm It will be like the Gap, but a lot bigger."

"Just updated my resume. Changed 'ambitious' to 'am-no-longer-bitious'."

"MIND BENDER: Take your age. Now subtract 3. That's how old you were three years ago."