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Joke of the Day

"What TV personality lives in your phone? SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)"

"My article on chickens was very well received. It might win the pullet-ser prize."

"So I'm still newish around here... What are the rules about Canadians? Does everybody get one? Do I get to choose? Where do I sign up?"

"Why can't Ewoks yell and scream in the house? They have to use their Endor voices."

"Each and every pizza can be a personal pizza if you just believe in yourself and don't have any friends."

"I used to do drugs... I still do. But I used to, too."

"I sustained a serious neck injury a few years ago... ...and I've never looked back."

"I was thinking of shaving my beard But it really grew on me."

"What do you call Batman when he skips church? Christian Bail"

"I was standing in a playground wondering why frisbees got bigger as they got closer.. ..... Then it hit me."