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Joke of the Day

"Now playing: With Myself."

"I turned on my computer. It said hello. Its a dell."

"A party was held for current and former actors where you had to come as your favourite musician. When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked what he was going to wear, his response was I'll be Bach"

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car next to an abortion clinic? Having to go in to ask for a coat hangar."

"I always wondered why cross eyed people never get hit crossing the road. Then it hit me. They are always looking both ways."

"The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do."

"Why didn't Toronto's mayor tell us earlier about his drug use? It must have fallen through a crack."

"I've decided to become a raw carnivore... I guess you can say I'm going cold turkey"

"What do you call a confused Chinese guy? Wong Wei"

"How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb Trick question, feminists can't change anything"