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Joke of the Day

"(Macbeth and lady Macbeth) ""I killed King Duncan"" Macbeth wtf!! ""You told me to!!"" I didn't think you'd do it omg lmao savage"

"[ultrasound] Dr: your baby is 7mm in length Me [whispering to wife]: ask him Wife [sighs]: what is that in fruit sizes?"

"What did the man who frequents the internet do with a book? He Reddit."

"I started to sing the poop song Dad said it was crappy."

"I don't think any other job sees as many erections as mine... I work with planning permission at the council. P.S. I made this one, kinda funny I suppose"

"I just saw a man pick up a screaming child and take her to his van. Man, kids are getting carried away these days."

"What do you call Star Wars Spoilers? *Wookie*Leaks."

"[standing next to the boss at the urinal] Ok, don't act weird. ""That's some impressive bladder volume, sir."""

"Getting married at 18 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm."

"Police are on the look out for a Midget Fortuneteller... He is described as a Small Medium at Large."