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Joke of the Day

"What is ISIS's favorite candy bar? Allahu Snackbar, it's flavor is explosive."

"Fish with no eyes What do you call a fish with no eyes? -A ""FSH"""

"A man told me that he wasn't constipated I think he's full of shit."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"

"A German asks for a martini... ""Dry?"" asks the barman. He replies, ""Nein, just one."""

"Chocolate coins are easily the most delicious of all coins; plus, they don't get stuck in your teeth like pennies."

"Eat Chipotle with your hands? Fine. Eat stuff that falls out of it with your hands? Get stared at you like you smeared shit on someone's kid"

"*The Terminator opens a fortune cookie. ""It is ok to kill many people. Many killings are coming your way."" John: I know it doesn't say that."

"""Pres. Trump, how do you plan to respond to this attack on our soil?"" TRUMP: OK first, I've seen several people call me Tronald Dump online"

"Prince: Rapunzel, let down your hair. Rapunzel: Hair, you'll never be beautiful, you'll always have split ends. *hair is super let down*"