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Joke of the Day

"Don't forget the 3 most important factors in choosing the right words for a ubiquitous real estate mantra: Locution, locution, locution. *twitter: @chippedbeef*"

"A Brit, a Spaniard and a Dutch walk into a bar.. .. unfortunately the Icelander couldn't come, he's still in the European Championship."

"If I had a dollar for every gender... I'd have $2 and some monopoly money..."

"Ear wax is disgusting. But when you're out of Vegemite, you're out of Vegemite."

"My mom once told me if I jack off I'll go blind I never saw her again"

"How do jewish people like their foreskins? [removed]"

"I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day.. ..it smells better than real poo."

"Been chatting with this 14 year old girl. Real sexy and flirty. Things are going great, but now she tells me she's an undercover cop. How fucking cool is that for someone her age."

"Where do Communists go to get burgers? Czechers."

"I'll never have the conviction of a jogger who runs in place while waiting for the red light to turn."