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Joke of the Day

"Drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Unless the question is ""What are you gonna do this weekend, Pauly?"""

"Genuinely stunned France has adopted the word ""wifi"" rather than ""le signal librement accessible sans l'utilisation de fils"" or some shit."

"What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless"

"So I'm reading that ""twerking"" and ""selfie"" have been added to the dictionary. ""Future"" and ""optimism"" have been removed..."

"A psychology study suggests that when you are single, all you see are happy couples, When you are committed, you see happy singles."

"They put a protective casing over the Vietnam Wall. They're calling it the Maya Lin sheath."

"I took my girlfriend home to meet the family My wife went fucking ballistic"

"Bring in 2015 the same way you came into this world. Naked and screaming."

"What two planets should we keep clean? Earth and Uranus."

"Any ideas for 'insults' that have no right answer? For example: did you get caught beating off in the corner? Love these types of jokes but can only think of a couple right now. Thanks!"