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Joke of the Day

"Why is it so hard to help deaf people? Because they never listen."

"It's pretty amazing that I'm able to balance my two kids, my career as a doctor, and my pathological lying!!"

"CBostonC CMarathonC Don't look at me like I'm the first person to add C4 to the Boston Marathon."

"Some of you might get this. Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar.... .... And doesn't."

"Bin Laden's neighbours interviewed ""we had no idea...he just kept himself to himself really..."""

"I DO love to rush breathlessly into Starbucks and scream ""Is anyone in here writing a screen play? We need one! This is an emergency!"""

"I have a pet tree... It's just like a pet dog, but the bark is quieter."

"Hi, I'm starting a support group for people who have trouble reaching orgasm... If you can't cum let me know."

"Why did the hipster burn his fingers? because he changed the light bulb before it was cool"

"My greatest fear is sitting in front of thousands of people while my Google search history is being read aloud."