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Joke of the Day
"I have a pet tree... It's just like a pet dog, but the bark is quieter."
Next Joke
"When German politics go right, they go far right. Right through Poland"
"did you know that protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic!"
"Two antennas met on a roof. They fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."
"What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!, I'm gay."
"People often say to me... ""What are you doing in my garden?"""
"Chuck Norris likes knitting sweaters...... if by knitting you mean kicking and by sweaters you mean babies......"
"In ""Come As You Are"", Kurt Cobain kept repeating ""And I swear that I don't have a gun""... ...he lied."
"My wife likes to tell me she is worshipped in india... She's a fat cow."
"[10 mins into couples therapy] Therapist: I cannot help you two. Me: Let's go, Betsy! See! She doesn't listen! T: GET YOUR DOG OFF MY COUCH!"