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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a boomerang and my father? the boomerang came back ='("

"I like my slaves like I like my eggs. Beaten."

"There was a professional hockey player that had to go to an away game, but he couldn't take his dog along with him. He got 2 minutes for boarding."

"War vets with prosthetic limbs are running marathons and I'm busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord."

"It was odd seeing pecan logs at the grocery store... because I usually don't get the logs until after I eat the pecans."

"How do you know your waitress is having a rough night? She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pen."

"What did a homosexual reindeer say to Santa Claus? Sleigh, daddy."

"Q. How did a blind woman drive herself crazy? A. Trying to read a stucco wall."

"How do you confuse a Jew? Put the bacon on sale for half-off."

"I was thinking about telling a Thailand joke... But Phucket."