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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me to give her 12"" and make her scream... So I did her 3 times in the poop chute and wiped my junk on the curtain. (can't remember where I stole this from)"

"When playing ""Got your nose,"" make sure the victim is willing to play. Also, that you're not at a urinal. Also, that it's their nose."

"Real redneck woman. How do you know you're with a real redneck woman? She can put in a dip know what to spit and what to swallow."

"Studies show 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of our population."

"What's a Cholo's favorite Chinese food dish? Chicken chow meng."

"Why did Kanye blow up the bakery? Because no one man should have all that flour."

"Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever, of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing."

"My revenge for being designated driver is putting my car seat warmers on high and convincing my drunk friends that they pee'd in their pants"

"A Muslim walks into a bar BANG (bomb explodes)"

"A portmanteau is when you combine 2 words to make 1 word. A great example of this is Groupon, a mixture of grey and poupon."