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Joke of the Day

"Excuse me, are of French Royalty? Because M'damn"

"Due to a mix up my cat ended up in a beauty contest and not at the vet. To my surprise she apparently won some gimmick trophy for fluffiest butt. It was a real *catastrophe.*"

"How many lonely guys does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But he wishes it took two."

"I once dated a strict Catholic from the south of Ireland I'll tell you what, you can take the girl out of Cork...."

"WIFE: stop quoting Britney Spears songs or I'll leave you ME: but I'm a slave 4 u WIFE: that's it ME: (whispers) oops I did it again"

"How can you spot a blind man in a nudist camp? Its not hard."

"Did you hear the latest joke about Baltimore? It's a riot"

"Bing is a fast search engine because you're the only person using it."

"What's the worst thing about challenging an unjust law? Failing to get away."

"[in heaven after crucifixion] jesus: ""they were horrible dad, im pleased im not going back there"" god: [rubbing his neck] ""see the thing is"""