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Joke of the Day

"Why is the homeless /r/anime mod still homeless? Every time someone tries to give him Shelter, he rejects it."

"I slipped on some black ice yesterday. At first I thought it was regular ice, but when I got back on my feet, I noticed my wallet was gone."

"What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jelly beans? The black ones steal your watch."

"Just picked up a Where's Waldo audiobook: ""Not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo"""

"There was a bad accident involving a funeral procession the other day. It was terrible! The toll was four injured, one dead."

"It's not my fault that I'm lazy. It walks in the family."

"How do you make gold soup? You use 14 carrots."

"I have 3 moods: - Skips every song on my iPod. - Lets the music play without interruption. - Plays the same song on repeat for days."

"Whats Brown and Sticky? Mohammed Ali opening a can of coke."

"Wanna see new features on your TV that you never knew existed? Let a baby play with the remote for about 12 seconds."