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Joke of the Day

"I slipped on some black ice yesterday. At first I thought it was regular ice, but when I got back on my feet, I noticed my wallet was gone."

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"If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?"

"Harry Potter: ""Hermoine, I'm gay"" Hermione: ""Are you kidding?"" Harry: ""No, I'm fucking Sirius"""

"When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side."

"Waiter waiter! There's a spider in my soup. Send for the manager! It's no good sir he's frightened of them too."

"Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital? He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)"

"We've all heard of Whistler's Mother.... But what about Whistler's Father? I guess you could say that he's out of the picture."

"I accidently mixed up some poison ivy with a 4 leafed clover Ever since I've had a rash of good luck..."

"If Killing someone else is homicide... ... and killing yourself is suicide. Then killing your mother-in-law must be pesticide."