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Joke of the Day

"People complain about there being too many GOP presidential candidates, but when Chris Christie quits that will be, like, half the field right there."

"How does Mike Tyson track Will Smith in the snow? He looks for fresh prints."

"Why do men name their penises? Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions."

"How do Reavers clean their harpoons? They put them through the Wash."

"What do you call a bicycle made just for grandpas? A popsicle!"

"Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas Because OCT 31 = DEC 25"

"Why is Chicago called the Windy City? Because Indiana sucks and Wisconsin blows"

"My wife doesn't have a Honey-Do list. She has a Cantaloupe list, which has all the girls I'm not allowed to run away with"

"A cop stopped me & asked ""do you know why I followed you"" so I said ""cause my tweets are funny"" & we laughed & high-fived & I'm in jail."

"I wish gummi bears screamed when you ate them"