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Joke of the Day

"If you believe everything you hear about trump Urine in for a long four years...."

"How did the math teacher solve her constipation problem? She worked it out with a pencil."

"My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, ""How old are you?"" I said, ""I'm five."" He said, ""When I was your age I was six."""

"Why did the USSR agree to a nonaggression pact with Nazi Germany? They were Stalin."

"Kelly Ayotte says ""Donald Trump is absolutely a role model for kids."" She's right, kids don't pay taxes either."

"""Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.."" Him: Do you have to say that everytime we visit my mom?"

"What's the difference between black people amd snow tires? Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them."

"I'm a completely broke farmer. The other day I tried buying fertilizer on my only credit card and it was declined. I literally can't buy shit."

"(Utterly awful joke ahead) What do you call a scar left by the Swedish Chef? A borkmark."

"Valve is like a deadbeat dad.... They both do well on creating, but suck at taking care of the offspring."