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Joke of the Day

"How did the butcher cure cancer? With salt."

"Two flies are arguing on a toilet seat when... One gets pissed off! (sorry!)"

"Everyone prepare yourself for National ""How is it May already?"" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet."

"I sometimes feel kinda brave until I see a slightly above average size moth."

"Do you think it's possible to train a hedgehog to walk up an down the table with cubes of cheese on it's spikes? I'm giving a dinner party."

"Does liking a sad status update mean I'm sympathetic for them or I like that they are sad?"

"Just a little poem for all the night owls up right now. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Go the fuck to sleep."

"Why did Ellen Pao try to sue the users of Reddit for gender discrimination/ sexual harassment? Because they were forming a massive circle-jerk around her"

"I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn't even know I was driving."

"What's the difference between a pot head and a person who physically abuses children? One is good at rolling blunts, the other is good at bowling runts."