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Joke of the Day

"When a band has Z's where S's should be in their name, I'm like, ""Woah, watch out! These bad boys aren't playing by society's rules."""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To complete the joke."

"Why is post college life so easy for Lannisters? Because a Lannister always pays his debts."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your cock down a cheerleader's throat"

"I am the all knowing oracle, you may ask me one question ""How do you pronounce quinoa?"" [it's just covered in sweat] um can u ask me another"

"My son is an ungrateful little shit! I bought him a trampoline for Christmas, but he'd rather sit in his wheelchair and cry."

"A coworker told me she was ""catching up on her correspondence"" so apparently it's 1932 here at my workplace."

"Why do midgets love playing soccer? The grass tickles their balls."

"The color black is out drinking with his friends. Black says to the bartender, ""Hey, something isn't right. Where is all the color white?"" Bartender says, ""dude, this is a gray bar."

"Did you hear about the Amish woman who got arrested? She was doing 2 Mennonite a night"