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Joke of the Day

"My gym bag is so funny. Today it was like ""What does the outside of your car trunk look like?"" and ""What's a gym?"""

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"What does a witch take when she can't poop? Hexlax^TM"
"A horse comes into a bar.., No wait, it was a man. A horse comes in a man..."
"A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck... Bar tender looks at him and says, ""I guess I'll let you hang out but you better not start anything."""
"Grandma didn't do 69 I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53, that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""
"[during sex] Can you please take your Fitbit off."
"I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer."
"Switzerland I've heard a lot of good things about Switzerland. I mean, the flag's a big plus, right?"
"Calm down, Windows Update. I'll restart my computer during work time."
"*kicks house door down* I SAID HAVE YOU ACCEPTED JESUS INTO YOUR LIFE?"
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